Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The curious case of

Wanted: a good detective, sleuth, or philosopher. Case - solve the continuous curious case of missing and unaccounted for socks.
Scene of the crime: Theoretically they enter a closed-system of washer and dryer and vanish. There are a lot of theories floating around the internet from alien abduction, black holes, time travel, or even garden Gnomes.

I have some theories.

First suspect; my female cat "Snookie" has been known to frequent the establishment and is a known kleptomaniac. She often drops small plastic packages all around the house. She hides many items under couches, mattresses. She does have a foot fetish and leaves things in odd numbers.

Second - the lint trap. If the washer/dryer is truly a closed system than particles in should equal particles out. Maybe the socks have decided to become more..., a higher purpose and have disintegrated or morphed into lint. Thus explaining in my mind, why the lint quantity changes from load to load. The disposal of link precludes that I will never find the missing socks.
Sometimes they just get agitated and stuck in or around the agitator.

Culprits number three: the men in my house. Holes, stepped in God knows what, used them for purposes that will always remain a mystery and now they have to hide the evidence. Not thinking that maybe they should dispose of the pair, they just throw the lone sock in the trash, out in the garden or places unknown.

Number four: socks and static are synonymous. They are true escape artists - clinging to all matter of clothes, especially hiding in corners of fitted sheets, Velcro strips and towels. If said articles isn't used frequently they can be incognito for months or years.

It's been a mystery puzzled by moms throughout the ages. There are several strategies for dealing with the problem:

Mine - never bother to match socks - just dump into a drawer and let the man-folk figure it out; if on some days they go out of the house with one white-blue and one white-black. Not my issue.
My friends - buy only one kind and color of socks. All black, size 10; size 6; size 4. Saves the sort and match process. Dump in the drawers and call it a day.
Also - dispose or donate the missing sock. Imagine Goodwill with 20 pairs of one lone sock - doesn't seem right.
Crafty people make them into sock-puppets, non crafty people use them to dust, or wax the cars.
Some people are optimistic and assume that they will just show up someday.
Be like Oprah "the Secret" make it your intention to have more perfectly matched socks, or create a "vision board" and the universe will sort things out for you.
I say be like Canadians and just wear bare-feet or saddles most of the time. In a pinch put on hockey skates- the socks are left with the skates. Sure they are ripe but that keeps you from being checked into the boards.

Cold Case: Some mysteries are never meant to be solved. Maybe the socks like to be left alone, maybe their not in a social mood. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be, seeking words of wisdom, let it be...

1 comment:

  1. I just went to one kind of sock for each kid. I probably threw out 70 socks and I don't feel one bit guilty. All my white socks are the same, patterned My hubby's are all tossed into a pile which he then smooshes into his drawer.

    I hate sock washing day.